Picture Perfect

Friday night was our ward Trunk or Treat.  Somehow we managed to get all of the kids into costume. :)  Nathan is a football fan, Lily is Laura Ingalls (NOT a pioneer. . .she had to correct everyone), Kayla was a dinosaur (last minute change from princess), and Benson was a pumpkin.  They had a lot of fun.  Benson keeps asking me if we can do Halloween again.  He is a fan of the candy. :)

Sadie Ballerina slept through the entire thing, so no one even got to see her cute costume.  I know this picture doesn't show the whole thing, but I loved the close up of her.  She is the sweetest.  

Miraculously, I got a picture of all of the kids before church (9AM church, but we try to go at least by 8:30AM to get everything ready for Primary).  

And then today I had to get a picture of me and Sadie.  I think the only one of the two of us is right after she was born. . .plus, we were both dressed up. . . 

We took the kids to the Boise Temple Open House this morning.   It was so beautiful.  Bryson took the time to take Nathan last Wednesday and Lily last Thursday to the temple.  That way they each got to have some one on one time with daddy and have their own temple experience.  Benson behaved pretty well for a 2 year old and Sadie slept the whole trip away.

The girls wanted a picture by the pretty flowers.  We are friends with the temple gardener, so they thought that was pretty special to see all that he does to make the temple grounds beautiful.

And that is what we've been up to this past week. :)  

October 24th - Still week 31 . . .

I guess I have to make a decision on how I am labeling my posts.  Kayla has 60 weeks of chemotherapy.  She didn't make counts last week, so we have to still make up that week.  So, I am going to call this week 31 again.

Well, yesterday we made it to the clinic without any of the craziness like last week. :)  Kayla is an old pro at checking in and getting accessed.  Although, she still won't stand on the scale alone!  Silly girl.

We met with Marnie and talked about how Kayla is doing.  I always get asked if she has any lumps, bumps or bruises.  Well, my answer has always been no.  But this past week, I have noticed more than just the normal 4 year-old bruises on her legs.  She has a couple of really big purple ones.  I pointed them out to Marnie and she said that those might be from having low platelets.  I also told her about Kayla's bloody nose.  Most of the nurses already knew about it because they saw that I had called in about it.  Just a side note: I really like the clinic and all of the nurses.  They really know and care about who you are and what is going on.  The nurse that accessed Kayla told me that she had read Kayla's MRI results because she wanted to know what they were.  The nurse knew Kayla was having the scan on Friday and she wasn't working on Monday, so she looked them up on Tuesday, just to see.  It is nice to know that they all really care about her.

One thing that Marnie did mention to me that could end up happening down the road is decreasing the dose of Kayla's chemo.  Her body has been knocked down each week for so long that it is starting to take longer to recover.  We'll just have to see.  Since the chemo seems to be working so well, I kind of hate to see that happen.

After meeting with Marnie, we went into the chemo suite.  Kayla's blood counts had still not come back, so we waited there while Kayla did some music time with Miss Stephanie.  Marnie didn't want to even start fluids until we knew what Kayla's platelet count was because she was suspicious that they might not make it again this week.  So, we just waited for awhile until we found out that her platelet count was only 58.  That was up from the 49 last week, but she needs to be at 100 in order to start this new cycle of chemo.  Bummer.  So, we loaded back up, took a picture on this HUGE pumpkin ( I can't remember how much they said it weighed, but it took a crane to get it in here), and then drove home.

I just want to add a little bit about how blessed we have been during this whole time.  I have the most wonderful visiting teachers who STILL bring us dinner every week on Kayla's clinic days.  I have wonderful friends who are all so willing to babysit Benson for me each week all day long and sometimes take Nathan and Lily after school.  We have wonderful family members who contribute to having someone come and help clean the house each week and also some who help pay for gas on our many trips to Boise.  I just want you all to know how much we appreciate your support!  Despite the trials we are going through right now, I know that we have been blessed with strength from our Savior, Jesus Christ, to make it through these difficult times.

Our Little Scare

With all that is happening with Kayla, we have been so lucky that nothing major has occurred.  She has held up so well with her weekly chemo treatments.

Well, this afternoon, Kayla got bonked in the nose somehow and came to me with a bloody nose.  Uh-oh.  All I could think about was how low her platelets were last week. Platelets help blood to clot, and with low platelets the blood doesn't clot as easily. Too much bleeding that won't stop, even from a bloody nose, can be pretty bad (a friend just told me two days ago that her daughter almost died from a bloody nose that wouldn't stop bleeding).  It was slow at first, and then the blood seemed to come faster.  Kayla kept getting upset and crying and I was trying to get her to calm down because I knew that crying would only make the blood come faster.  Our sack of dirty tissues was filling up fast.  I called the clinic and left a message for a nurse to call me back.  I wasn't sure if we were going to need to hop in the car and head to the hospital or what.

The nurse called back after just a few minutes and told me to pinch Kayla's nose.  Well, that kind of got her upset again and then I saw (sorry if this is gross) a big blood clot coming out of her nose.  I was still on the phone with the nurse at the time (for which I am glad) and she told me that the blood was trying to clot (which was good).  The nurse said that if we were to come in, they would just pinch her nose to try to get it to stop bleeding and if she needed it, do a platelet transfusion.  So, Kayla wouldn't let me pinch her nose, but she did it herself.  The nurse told me she'd call back and check on us in a few minutes.  After a little while longer (and another blood clot - ick) her nose seemed to be slowing down.  Phew!!!  By the time the nurse called back her nose had just barely stopped bleeding.  I was very relieved.

Kayla was actually pretty calm about the whole thing.  She did get upset a couple of times, but it wasn't about her bloody nose.  She did great pinching and switching out Kleenexes when she needed new ones.  While this was all going on, Benson decided that he didn't want to wear a diaper and I was trying to get him on the toilet, or get his diaper back on.  Luckily, the baby was sleeping. :)

October 19th - 2nd MRI

Kayla, Sadie and I started our Friday morning by leaving for the hospital at about 7:15AM.  We got there and were registering while Sadie was filling her diaper. . .nice timing.  I thought we'd have a chance to stop off at the bathroom, but they sent us right over.  At the MRI waiting room, I had to sign a few more papers and then we waited for a little bit until they took us back to a room.

The nurse weighed Kayla (without me holding her. . . big step) and had her put on the hospital gown (another BIG step. . . she actually put it on for the first time ever).  Then Kayla sat on the bed (another BIG step. . . she doesn't like to be on hospital beds) and was great while the nurse listened to her heart and lungs.  

I finally had a chance to change Sadie. . . the nurse gave me a blanket to put on the floor so I could do it in the room.  Let me just say it was the biggest mess she has made so far in her life. :)  I was glad I brought extra clothes. . . 

I then had more papers to sign and questions to answer.  The nurse anesthetist came in and talked to us for a little while.  Both Kayla and I were familiar with the process and were good to go.  

Kayla did not want to use the mask to get put to sleep, so I requested that they access her port and give her the anesthesia through it.  The nurse was fine with that, although they are not quite as efficient as the nurses at MSTI. ;)  

When it was time to go into the MRI room, Kayla hopped off the bed and held the nurse anesthetists hand while she walked down the hallway and into the room.  Wow.  I don't know if it was because I was holding Sadie or not, but she did so awesome!  I had to stay out of the room, so she went in with about 6 nurses hovering around her and helping her get settled.  And she was still fine.  They gave her the anesthesia and she was out pretty quickly.  It was still difficult not to let a tear or two slip out as I walked back to the room to gather our stuff and go to the waiting room.  

After waiting for about an hour, a nurse came and took me back to Kayla in the recovery room.  She took longer to wake up this time than she has the past few times she's been under anesthesia.  But, once she was awake, she was good.  She drank water, ate a popsicle, watched a little PBS and then the nurse de-accessed her and we headed home.  

I was so glad that Kayla was totally fine with everything that day.  She remembered the drill and did absolutely fantastic.  What an amazing girl we have.  

Just to follow up. . . Kayla's nurse called me on Monday to tell me what the results of the MRI were.  She said that there was another marked decrease in the size of the tumor!  Yay!  She also said that they could see a cold or allergies in her sinuses . . . yep, she's been coughing and sneezing lately.  We will meet with her doctor tomorrow to see what he has to say.  They do the MRI's three months apart, and we were told at the beginning not to expect to see any changes until the first MRI is compared to ones a year or so down the road.  I think that it is great that there has been such a noticeable change in size from the first to the second MRI and again from the second to third one.

October 17th - Week 31 . . . Delayed

So, we had a little bit of a crazy day today.  After Nathan and Lily were off to school and the rest of us were ready to go, I went to drop off Benson at a friend's house.  Unfortunately, that fell through.  I made a few calls to try to find someone last minute who could watch him, but was unsuccessful.  I figured I would just take him back home and have Bryson watch him until we got something else worked out (his mornings are sometimes flexible).  But, Bryson was in the middle of a phone call for work. I didn't know how long it might be and the clock was ticking (we were already running a bit late), so I just put Benson back in the car and we all headed off to the clinic.

I was a little bit worried about how long Benson would last (happily) at the clinic.  Plus, we had Sadie along with us, too.  And it was going to be one of the longer days (as far as the actual treatment goes).

Well, we got checked in, accessed Kayla's port, and talked to the doctor with no catastrophes.  Nothing major to talk about.  Just Kayla's lingering cough, again, and her MRI this Friday.

So, her fluids were started, and an hour later she got her zofran.  During this time, Kayla, Benson and I played the Fishing Game and Candyland, and Benson had some music time with Miss Stephanie (which he loved. . . it was so cute) while Kayla watched a movie (she's been funny about music time lately and hasn't wanted to do it).

Well, the nurse had just finished hanging the bag of vincristine and started the drip when she came back over and told us that Kayla's blood count results had taken forever to come back and that they didn't make it for today's chemo.  Her platelets need to be at 100 or better and hers were only at 49 this week.  So far, her platelets had always been really good, but they dropped quite a bit.  I had the printout of her counts from last week and her platelets were 92.  It may be that she is just fighting off this cold and it is taking a toll on her.  I always check her neutrifil level because that's the main part of her blood that, if too low, would stop her from getting her chemo treatment.  I didn't realize that the platelets might become a problem too.

I also didn't know that she was due for pentamadine this week.  So, we (the nurse and I) decided to go ahead and do the pentamadine (antibiotic to prevent pneumonia) since her blood counts didn't affect that and we wouldn't have to wait until next week and have a extra long day (the pentamadine takes an extra hour).

So, in the end, Kayla got an hour of fluids and an hour of pentamadine and after being at the clinic for 3 hours we got to go home.  I was kind of bummed that Kayla didn't make counts.  She has done so well so far that we just keep praying that her body will be strong enough to keep up with it all.  But, it also worked out very well to go home early, especially with having Benson there. . . he never would have made it for another 3 hours. :)

And that was our day (well, the clinic portion of it).  Kayla was kind of excited about of the fact that she didn't need to take a "pill" (zofran) once we got home.  It was cute to hear her explain to Lily about her blood being too small to get her medicine that makes her sick.

The afternoon was pretty hectic. After dinner, Bryson had to leave for a meeting, so I was on my own for bedtime. I'm proud to say: all of the kids were in bed by 8, and most (Sadie, Benson, and Kayla) were asleep before that. Nathan and Lily aren't quite as demanding at bedtime anymore, usually, so they read and turn lights out around 8:30.

Those few hours to myself at night is how I stay sane. :)

October 10th - Week 30 HALFWAY

Wednesday, Kayla had her off week check-up.  I realized as I titled the post that it was the halfway mark for her.  Wow!  I wish I could say that it has flown by. . . but it has been long.   She is doing awesome though.

Kayla kept asking me if we were going to take baby Sadie with us to show everyone at the clinic.  I assured her that Sadie was coming.  And everyone was excited to meet her.  We did a little showing off and then Kayla got checked in and accessed.

We were able to meet with Dr. Hanson, so I was glad that I was able to go.  Bryson was planning on taking Kayla, but had a few meetings come up during the same time, so I took her.  I went over everything that has been happening with Kayla lately. . . successes and struggles with zofran, her lingering cough, doing her physical therapy exercises, her upcoming MRI (which is next Friday, the 19th) and when we would talk to him about the results of the MRI.

Dr. Hanson did mention that if her cough lingers on much longer then they might do chest x-rays just to check it out.  I mentioned that Marnie had said she would try to work out Kayla getting a flu shot while she is out during the MRI.  Nurse Mary said she would take care of that.

Kayla's blood counts were good this week, which is great.  I am so glad that she has been able to hang on there just higher than where they need to be for chemo.  Her visit next week will be the beginning of the 4th cycle of the maintenance phase.  There are 8 total cycles.  

I scheduled her appointment next week for Wednesday, again.  I thought it would work out much better since she will have her MRI on Friday.  This way, she will have Thursday to get past any nausea (and hopefully take zofran) before going in on Friday.  She can't have anything to eat or drink before the MRI, so I wouldn't be able to give her zofran (she takes the pill with water until it dissolves) before getting to the hospital, getting accessed and then getting it through IV.  That's a lot of time for throw-up. ;)

As for everything else, Sadie is doing fabulous, although I could use a little more sleep at night.  The other kids are wearing me out.  I had two cavities filled this morning at the dentist (which were under two already existing fillings. . . weird. . . ).  But my mom came back for the weekend, so all is well right now! :)

Going to the Doctor. . .Again

So, Monday morning I called the pediatrician to schedule a follow up appointment for Sadie.  Her doctor, along with the one on call that saw her in the hospital were both full for awhile, so she got scheduled with the nurse practitioner for 8AM on Wednesday.  Ugh, 8AM with a new baby.  Not looking forward to that.

Tuesday, Benson woke up wheezing pretty badly.  He'd had a runny nose and a cough for awhile, but the wheezing caused me to call the pediatrician and schedule an appointment for him.  Miraculously, he got in that afternoon with our regular pediatrician.  Yay!

So, that afternoon, I took Benson and Sadie in to the doctor.  Benson did great, doing everything the doctor asked of him.  We did a nebulizer treatment on him while we were there and then the doctor listened to his breathing again.  Benson was breathing a little better, so he was prescribed a nebulizer so we could do treatments at home.  I also talked to the doctor about Benson's excema on his legs.  It had been pretty bad for awhile.  He suggested doing an allergy test for a few of the major thungs like eggs, milk, wheat, etc.  They could take a little blood in the office and have it tested.  So, I decided to go ahead and do that.  Benson didn't enjoy it very much, but as soon as they offered him a sucker, he was fine.

I also mentioned to the doctor that I had an appointment in the morning for Sadie and how I wasn't able to get in to him.  He said that he could do her check-up right then. (Yes!).  So he checked her out and the nurse did her thing and we were all set and didn't need to come in the next morning.  Hooray!

****Just an update, I got a call from the nurse today and the results came back from Benson's allergy test.  He has multiple food allergies.  So the doctor is referring him to an asthma and allergy clinic.  Yay.  Another doctor.  We should be hearing from them within the next couple of days.

The Arrival of Sadie Rose

Friday night, October 5th, I went to bed after another day of waiting for this baby to come.  My wonderful mother-in-law had planned on leaving that day, but decided to stay one more night. . . just in case.

At 3:30AM, I woke up to some decent contractions that were about 10 minutes apart.  I could tell that these were probably the real thing.  They were longer and more intense than any others I'd been having up to this point.  So, I tried to still rest, but kept track of how often the contractions were coming.  At about 5:30AM, I woke up Bryson and told him we would probably need to go to the hospital soon.  My contractions were getting closer together, longer, and more intense.  I was still more comfortable in my bed than I would be in the hospital, so I wasn't in a huge hurry to get there.

We finally got up and got ready to go.  When I got out of bed, the contractions got a lot closer together and were very . . . intense.  I started thinking that we should had gone earlier.  By the time we got to the hospital, it was 6:30AM and I was having lots of . . . very intense contractions.

We got registered and then they wheeled me up to the triage room.  Here's one of very few prego pictures I have.  I have to get that last one before the baby comes. . .

I tell the nurses that I had been dilated to a 4, 80% effaced and had my membranes stripped earlier in the week.  They go on about how if I am still at a 4 they will blah blah blah. . . I was just thinking in my head, there is no way I am still at a 4.  So, at about 7AM, the nurse checks me and says, "You are at an 8!  We will admit you and I will go call the doctor!"

And she says. . . it is probably too late for an epidural.  Sigh. . . in some ways, I kind of wanted a quick labor without an epidural.  At least, that's what I had thought during the past year.  In that moment, though, I very much wanted some relief.

Around 7:30AM, the doctor came in and tried to break my water.  I must have a really thick sack because she couldn't break it.  But, I was about at a 10 by then, so she asked me if I wanted to start pushing.  If the end was that close, then, YES, I wanted to start pushing.

Right about that time, a nurse knocked on the door and said that there was a lady having her baby downstairs!  So, my doctor and one of the nurses left to go help her.  A couple minutes later we could hear her screaming out in the hallway.  She went into the room next to me and was soooooo loud.  I have never heard another woman screaming during labor.  The nurse that was left in the room with me went and closed the door. :)  There was another doctor with me, but I think she was a resident. . . I'm not totally sure.  So, after listening to this lady yelling, "GET THIS OUT OF ME!!!!"  it was my turn to start pushing.

I had talked to friends who have delivered naturally and knew that the end was going to be painful.  And, I have to agree.  IT WAS PAINFUL.  Between exhaustion and pain. . . aye de mi!  I pushed for at least 20 minutes and finally got this beautiful "little" girl out! Sadie Rose Perkins was born at 8:02AM.

Just look at how BIG she was!!  9 pounds 3 ounces!  I never imagined she would be that big!  My previous babies had been 8lb 3oz, 6lb 5oz, 7lb 4oz, and 7lb . . . sorry Benson, I can't remember!  But, still I was not expecting a 9 pound baby.

And here is an afterwards picture. . . she was so alert for the two hours after she was born, just looking around at us.

I LOVE the recovery rooms.  The hospital has four family rooms.  This one has a king size bed with lots of super soft fluffy pillows, a leather chair, a kids table and chairs and an adult table and chairs.  It feels a lot less like a hospital. :)  The kids were so excited to get meet Sadie that they had their shoes on by 8:30AM and were all ready to hop in the van.  We told Bryson's mom to give us a couple hours. . .

The kids each took a turn holding Sadie.  They were all so excited. :)

Grammy and Sadie. . .

Daddy and Sadie. . .

Grandpa and Grandma and Sadie. . .

Here she is in the carseat, ready to come home.

And, here is the attention she got as soon as we got home.  The kids surrounded her and just looked at her for at least 10 minutes.

We are so blessed to have Sadie as a part of our family now.  She is so sweet.  I love to see how excited her siblings get around her.  Nathan has surprised me the most.  He is always wanting to hold her.  I expected that from the girls (which, they do), but Nathan came to the hospital when it was time for us to go home and sat and held her for awhile.  He was anxious to see her hands and feet, too.

And that's our story!

October 4th - Week 29 + more. . .

I was totally not supposed to take Kayla to the clinic last Thursday.

When I went to my last doctor's appointment, he told me that he would induce me on Tuesday or Wednesday if I wanted to because he was leaving town for the weekend.  So, I was trying to decide all weekend whether or not to be induced.  I would rather go natural, but I also like knowing who my doctor is going to be.  So, Monday (Oct. 1st), I decided to call and schedule to be induced on Wednesday.  That way it gave me a little more time to go naturally, but it was the latest my doctor could do it.  So, I called and got it all scheduled.  Whew.  The end was in sight.

Tuesday morning, I got a call from the hospital.  They had to change my induction to Thursday.  What!  I told them I couldn't do Thursday.  For one thing Kayla had her appointment and Bryson was planning on going with her and I kind of wanted him to be with me, too. ;)  Another thing, the whole reason I had decided to get induced was to have the doctor who knew me do it.  When I asked who the doctor would be on Thursday, it was the one who I had seen once when I was pregnant with Kayla.  So, I canceled it.  I was kind of annoyed.  The nice lady on the phone tried to make me feel better by saying maybe I would go into labor anyway and blah blah blah.  I was more irritated that I had finally decided to be induced and now that wasn't an option that I wanted.

So, I had to reschedule the appointment with my doctor on Wednesday that I had just canceled because I wouldn't be needing it.  That day, I went through just about every emotion.  Irritation, relief, depression, apathy, frustration. . . oh, well.

On Wednesday, I went to my appointment.  The hospital had not informed my doctor that my induction had been canceled, so he had been at the hospital waiting for me.  He was just as annoyed as I was about the whole thing.  He told me that he was on call that day and wouldn't be leaving until the morning.  This gave me a little more hope.  I was dilated to a four and let him strip my membranes.  I was REALLY hoping that would put me into labor.  He told me to just come to the hospital if I even had four contractions in an hour.  He said he would not send me home, he'd just break my water and we'd go from there.  So, I left my appointment thinking that I'd probably be heading to the hospital sometime that day.   Just in case, though, I scheduled to be induced on Monday when my doctor would be back in town.

 I was determined to go into labor.  I took Kayla and Benson and we went grocery shopping to Costco and Winco.  After lunch, I put them into my double jogger and we went for a walk all around the neighborhood.  We just kept going and going. . . I was walking with one foot on the curb and one foot on the street to make the whole experience more bumpy.

Bryson's mom even came over from southeastern Idaho.  I had decided to go into the hospital once she got to our house that night.

BUT NOTHING WAS HAPPENING.  Hardly any contractions.  And when it came right down to it, I just didn't feel right about going into the hospital.  Ugh.

And, by then, I was just too tired and wanted to go to bed.  Going to the hospital and having a baby that night seemed too exhausting when I was already so tired.  So, we just went to bed.  I slept nice and sound without a single contraction.

So, back to Thursday.  I shocked everyone at the clinic by showing up still pregnant. :)  The nurses all informed me that they had either worked in the NICU, or had delivered a baby before, or something along those lines.  I asked if anyone could break water and we could really get this started.  Ha ha.

Kayla did great getting accessed and all that.  When she got weighed it showed that she had lost 4 pounds that week.  I really think that something must have been off.  There was no way.  She didn't look like it and she normally fluctuated at most a pound back and forth each week.

We met with the doctor and everything looks great with her.  So, we de-accessed and went home.   I promised everyone that I would not be there next week.